One of the last times I was traveling solo abroad (to Denmark and Iceland in the Summer) I was in a significantly different headspace than I am today, 8 moths later. Funny enough though, I am going through the EXACT same experience as I was earlier this year, prior to my summer adventures.
The breakup approaching summer put me in such a bad place I felt like all I could do was run as far away from anyone or anything that reminded me of the experience and my ex partner. And let me just tell you, there is NO way to run away from your own head… no matter how far you go.
“The only way out, is in”
Now, post October break up (same guy, long story) I am on the plane headed to Thailand and am feeling sad because I am leaving behind such an awesome and fulfilling life back home. I can’t fathom how much fun I am going to have on my experience because I literally feel high on life all the time in my daily life… does it get even better?!?!
I have had such a shift in my life since October, prioritizing my well being, investing in my health and really practicing and taking the time to learn the tools that work for me and my life to stay happy and successful.
Integrating these tools has been such a fun adventure and I have learned there really is no way you can lose. Even when I do start to feel down, I immediately know I can turn to my breath, essential oils, a good walk, a sweet crystal & more.
I am so grateful for all the support in my life and how each and every one of my true friends first and foremost encourages me to support myself. This is so important in friendships and relationships and grasping the idea alone can take a lifetime.
I was just talking to someone yesterday about the emotional level one experiences while traveling, specifically solo adventuring. The last 24 hours have been a roller coaster of excitement, anxiety , nervousness, sadness saying goodbye, gratitude, feeling supported and honestly just being so happy overall that I could cry.
I feel really guilty though, i know i shouldn’t but I do. I spend so much time worrying about other peoples feelings and happiness that for me to experience this bliss and re direct my energy away from certain people is kind of scary. I feel that I am not being of service to those I love. But as I have implied, sometimes the best way to be of service to others is to love yourself fully and completely. We all need that intimate time to learn about the person we spend the most time with, ourselves!
What is it about stepping out of the car, stumbling with my top heavy bag into the security line, and gliding into the sky that paints this picture perfect scenario?? (that also happens to be surprisingly stressful and fast paced)
The past 2 months of inner energy work I have been doing have been some of the most powerful in my life yet. I see so much light around me and the people I surround myself with. Powerful women, intelligent business partners, thoughtful and caring friends, respectful men, amazing clients.
I have been focusing all of my attention on what I attract into my life and why. If I notice anything that I am not too happy with my first reflection is with myself. I don’t even struggle with letting go of the idea that this “irritating person” or “inconvenient situation” is at all related the the other party, its always a mirror of myself. I am quick in coming to the most genuine approach as to why I am attracting these emotions into my life.
For example, when my partner and I went our separate ways about two months ago, I really wanted to support and encourage his growth and space. Resisting communication was nearly impossible, not to mention resisting all the thoughts and tears that would come to me in the privacy of my mind (and sometimes also in public lol)
I quickly noticed us spending more time together and communicating quite often (at my request), which is the exact opposite of his request for space. What ended up happening for me to realize the pattern I was creating was certain male energies entering my life and not respecting me when I was asking for space. How annoyed I was at this when I was guilty of the exact same behavior.
WOW! Was I shocked to understand in a matter of seconds that it didn’t matter if you are a male or female when someone asks for space and has the courage to make that request, anyone, especially if you love them, should be able to hear that. It was easy for me to say, “Oh, they are just older creepy men…typical” But in all reality, after I had this mental download, I felt so apologetic and disrespectful for crossing such a boundary. I really did feel like a hypocrite. I thought about apologizing but I figured that would (again) defeat the respect of the request.
Thank you for anyone who has taken the time to share this vulnerable moment with me. I felt called to share it because my mind was blown when I saw how the situation appeared after looking at it from a new perspective for only a moment. These downloads and realizations have been very powerful for me.
Where can you look from a different perspective in your life?
If you read this (you know who you are) I hope you had the most lovely holiday, birthday and New Years. There is never a bad thought about you that crosses my mind and all I wish for you in my meditation practice is for you to be happy and find your passion again. I hope you are showered with so much love this upcoming year.
Watching the sunset of colors blossom out of the plane window was beautiful over the ice of the Alaskan Coast… Inspiring!
More later XO